I am a freelancer in the publishing industry, so words are very important to me. I'm a leftist living in a world gone mad, so politics are very important to me. I'm an environmentalist living in a degrading world, so pick up your damn trash, get rid of your gas guzzlers, and don't touch ANWR, you self-absorbed capitalists!

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17 December 2007

Dear Paul Newman

Dear Paul Newman,

This weekend I picked up a package of your Newman’s Own Newman-O’s because my daughter Trixie was having a friend over for the evening, and I wanted to get them a snack (but I wasn’t sure if the guest preferred sweet snacks or salty snacks). Well, that, but really because your Newman-O’s were cheaper than the Oreos (I know, who would have thought it??).

The girls preferred to eat the salt and vinegar chips, so your package was sitting there, all lonely and unopened, on the kitchen table.

Calling to me.

So, when the Consort left to drive the guest home and to pick up Impera and her friend (our guest’s older sister), from the eighth-grade winter semi-formal dance, I was alone in the house with the pets, and those Newman-O’s.

I admit, I didn’t try very hard to resist. Heck, I had been working all afternoon and evening on Christmas projects, so verily, I deserved a treat. And, oh my ears and whiskers, your cookies were delicious! The center was creamy, not dry like Oreos can be (not that I have them very often, but dryness in a cookie is something I remember for a long time).

I have often wondered how much of a ploy your organic food products line is – you know, actor gets old, wants to keep his name in the societal consciousness, decides to sell organic foods, makes lots of money, blah, blah, blah. Well, I no longer need to wonder. Your food empire is totally worth it. If only for these delectable sandwich cookies (which I recommended to the rest of my family, and they liked them, they just didn’t rave about them like I did, so now I have to deal with the knowledge that there is a near-full package of them in my pantry, which I really shouldn’t go check on, to see how they are doing in there. Really, I shouldn’t.)

Thank you!

Hugs to you and Nell,

Imperatrix